Let’s talk about fear.
Not the sensible fear that cautions us from high-risk activities (like walking down dark alleys alone, base jumping, or putting your head in the lion’s mouth). Nor the fears that arise because there is a chemical imbalance in the limbic system that needs pharmaceutical correction.
What I mean here is the kind of fear that binds us in disobedience. God has told us things we should do (like tithe, pray, serve), things that He calls us to do uniquely, (like preach, witness, forgive), or called us to trust Him alone thru a difficult season. Any of that sound familiar? It should. God is on the move. He is always calling us to a next step of greater trust and obedience. If you are not moving on to a new level of risk and trust with God, then you are probably stuck in disobedience. Usually because a fear has bound you there.
What lies at the root of these fears? Well, that is a great question. We should be asking that of ourselves over and over. And over. What lies at the root of my fear?
I have suffered with a fear of not having enough money all my adult life. I know the source of it – I grew up poor and my parents always seemed to be one mistake away from homelessness. I vowed I would never be like that. I have had to ask that question of myself over and over as an adult believer: what lies at the root of my fear about tithing? About income? About work? About security? I have had to get honest with myself and God about that. In spite of all the evidence to the contrary in my life, I still don’t trust God to show up if life gets hard. Until I was able to own that truth (that I don’t trust God), I wasn’t able to address it with appropriate scriptural balm. I may go to my grave still applying scriptural salve to this soul-wound. But at least now I can do that. At least now God and I can address it together.
Maybe this is not your fear. Maybe you fear public speaking (most people do). It is a chance at public humiliation, after all. Shame. Loser. Big L on the forehead, and all that. But what lies at the root of that fear? I don’t think any believer would say, “Well, God will love me less if I give a bad public speech” or “I will lose my salvation if I don’t witness at least once a week.” Those sound foolish to everyone! No, if we peel back into the pain spot, we see we actually fear loss of face among our peers. Their opinion of us is more important than God’s call to witness, teach, or preach. Our fear has bound us into disobedience.
Maybe neither money nor public speaking is “it” for you. I imagine there are a vast number of fears that stem from ugly boils on the soul. My point here is this: until we root out the real reasons for our fear, we will not be able break the binding that keeps us in disobedience from God’s call.
There are certain scriptures that cause me to pause and wonder if those apply to me. Specifically, when Jesus says “I knew you not” and “my sheep hear my voice” and “if you love me, obey my commands”? I don’t want to be the one to whom He says “I knew you not – you did not obey my commands or hear my voice.” I am confident God is not expecting perfection in my victory here on earth – I am confident He will finish the good work He began in me. But I am also confident that I must participate in this journey or I will allow the roots of my fears to bind me into this place of disobedience.
So today, whenever fear raises its ugly head, I ask myself: what, exactly, am I afraid of?
Peter must have been terrified in the boat when Jesus walked upon the water. They all must have been terrified. But only Peter said, “Lord, bid me come to you and I will.” Only Peter stepped over the gunwale onto the tossing waves when Jesus said, “Come.” As John Ortberg quipped in the title of one of his books: To Walk on Water, You’ve Got To Get Out Of the Boat.”
I want to go home to God a water-walker. Not a boat sitter.
Because of this, I am willing to do the heavy lifting of examining my fears and finding the root of them. I would rather painfully slice every ugly boil in my soul by asking this question over and over than sit in the perceived safety of my boat taking zero risks with God.
I know it is frightening to look at our “stuff”. You may even need the help of a professional counselor or a good friend who can speak honestly and lovingly into your pain places. Or maybe you just need to hold God’s hand and do it together. When our fear rises up, we must make time to sit with it and ask this hard question: why does that frighten me? What lies at the root of this fear?
Do you know what happens when we get to the root of our fears and own them? It looks like this (2 Chron 7:14 NIV):
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land