I think most of us don’t actually take God’s word to us to heart – myself included. I mean, if I really thought God had made me fully competent to share the Gospel, don’t you think I would step out and share my faith more? If I really knew the breadth and depth of the love God has for me, don’t you think I would be bold, audacious, courageous and radically love others (even the difficult to love people…like, um, me…)? I think I ought to be like that. When I read the completeness and craziness of the promises of God to us, I wonder that I am not more often outside my comfort zone doing completely crazy things…like sharing the love of Jesus.
But you see, I have doubts. I wonder if God is real – or if my faith is just a sham. When that doubt has receded like the tide, others rise up. I wonder if I am going to be rejected if I share my faith. I wonder if I am not knowledgeable enough to hold up in a discussion about faith. I wonder if I am just not good enough in general for God to move thru me. I mean, after all, I haven’t seen God’s power moving recently – maybe He has forgotten me.
Oh yes, I have doubts. Satan hardly has to accuse me because I am so very good at accusing myself of flaws and failures – I simply don’t “measure up”. It can cause anxiety, or even depression.
And yet scripture does not waiver on these points: God dwells with me – God will do through me what I cannot do in my own strength. He is strong in my weakness. God is changing me to be all that He wants me to be. God knows me through and through and loves me deeply anyway. There is nothing that will happen to my money, reputation, health, or relationships that can take away my eternal position vis-à-vis God: I. Am. His. Beloved.
My head knows these things. I can spout the correct Sunday school responses when asked. It is somewhere deeper and older that seems to quake with all these fears and doubts. I must remind myself regularly that the uncomfortable place called “outside my comfort zone” is the only place where I really must lean on God. Further, it is the only place where others can witness my trust in God. Inside my comfort zone, nothing supernatural is required.
I must steep myself in the truth of scripture (because I so often forget it). For God to have all the glory, I must step outside my comfort zone. To do that – to step outside where I no longer control or manage the outcome – I have to hold on to this truth: God is.
- God is alive in me. Not a dead god – but a living savior.
- God is powerful enough to make me competent – or cover over where I am not.
- God is making me new so that I will show God’s glory to the world, not my ragged self.
- God is love – I can be confident, have hope, and be bold because I am loved. Yes, loved. God knows all my doubts, anxieties, problems, self-loathing, and overweening pride. And still He loves me!
This is our anchor in the storm, the bedrock on which we stand, our hope that surpasses all doubts, the power on which we draw, and the very reason we can boldly witness: God is.